Truth.

This is a truth that I am fighting with at the moment. In all honesty, I think the hardest thing for people to understand about EUPD (or BPD as it is more commonly known) is that I “feel” every emotion on a deeper and more excruciating level than others might. Especially with regards to real or imagined abandonment. This means that at times, when I am not in a good place mentally, I will experience and overreact to the smallest thing, because my illness causes me to believe things are a certain way, when perhaps they’re not. (But I can’t see that.)

The trouble is being able to recognise when my reaction is BPD based, and not truth based. I’m not trying to be cryptic, an example might be, when in a friendship with someone, if they don’t text in the nature they normally do, or perhaps don’t reply to a text, I will astronomically overread into the situation, believing myself to have annoyed/angered them, and therefore berate myself for my own incompetence and stupidity when actually, perhaps they were texting in a rush or were preoccupied or some other reason I don’t think of at the time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that (sometimes) friendships can be really hard for those with BPD. And I guess it can be hard for the ones on the other side as well. When the darkness of mental illness closes in around someone, it can be difficult to know what to say or do for those who are suffering. Sometimes it can be really uncomfortable. So, I just want to say, it’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay if you don’t know what to do. But please, I’m begging you, please don’t let your discomfort or awkwardness stop you reaching out to someone. Just a text to say, I’m thinking of you. You’re not forgotten. Comment a 💜 or a *hug* on a post. Let them know you hear them. You see them. It doesn’t have to be big. They may not reply themselves. But sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference. In a time when mental illness is all over social media, don’t make things over complicated. A hug or a smile can shine a bright light into someone who can only see the darkness.

Thanks for listening folks. 🙂