React.

I wonder how you react to bad news. Are you someone who immediately worries about others, or how you will be affected, or the sadness of the situation? Maybe you are quick to empathise, or quick to try to solve?

Me? I tend to internalise everything I hear. I often need a while to process news before I can begin to unpack how I really feel about it. It’s like I have an internal carousel, and every time something happens the news jumps on the carousel, except I have no idea when it’s going to get off again. And while it’s going round and round in my head, I make assumptions about the world and the people in it. So certain things will set off an internal chain-reaction that make me appear to over-react to something others think is insignificant. It’s a massive part of my illness and it’s only recently that I’ve realised how much I do it.

So, I have to apologise if in the past I’ve over-reacted (or under-reacted) to some news. Perhaps I wasn’t quite ready to process. Perhaps I was over-processing something that spilled out when I heard what you were saying. Perhaps there were just too many things on the carousel, and lots got off at the same time. I’m sorry. There is so much going on inside my head that you will never see. I hope you can be patient with me.