Friday, 27 November 2009


N.B. This is going to be more blunt and to the point than normal, because I just haven't got the energy to be using my literary skills. Sorry.

Okay, I admit it. Sometimes I work too much. You might think that that sounds like a boast or an attempt to make myself look good. It isn't. It is just a realisation that sometimes, there is a need to stop. I'm not very good at taking time off. There are two reasons for this: Firstly, I love my job, and the people that I work alongside (well, mostly), and secondly, I don't have many friends (outside of work) that are close enough to spend time with when I want to have time off. Also, Ryan lives in Kent. A combination of these things, and maybe a few other factors, lead to the fact that last week, I had to take time off to recover, because I was too exhausted to do anything constructive. I had to admit to myself (and to Ryan... how annoying when he is right!) that I needed to take a break.

So, after a disasterous weekend feeling rubbish, (and working Monday) I was sent home from lectures on Tuesday to recover. Wednesday and Friday I spent in bed, (okay, so I worked Thursday...) and I tell you, it was horrible. I woke up, and just didn't have the energy to do anything but lay in bed watching tv and dozing. Now, to some people, this might sound amazing. But I hated it, because the problem is that once I stop and rest, my body lets down its defences and I get properly ill, and so I have spent the last week getting over colds, sore throats, headaches, dizzy spells, exhaustion, back aches and other equally annoying and painful things... bleurgh.

The other reason I don't like taking time off is because I get bored and lonely. The last few months have a real challenge to keep me "in this world" emotionally because I have been having what I would call a 'crisis of self', and its been something that I actually haven't talked about much, although not for lack of trying. I just can't find the words to describe it, which is why its probably called a 'crisis'. So yeah. Basically... I'm a loony. No other way to put it really.

Have a good weekend.

"Putting all the vegetables away
That you bought at the grocery store today
And it goes fast
You think of the past
Suddenly everything has changed..."
'Suddenly Everything Has Changed' - The Postal Service
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