Thursday, 18 December 2008


N.B. How I wish I had wings that I could escape these cold endless nights. To escape this situation and to start afresh in a new world, with a new horizon that calls to me each evening. Oh, how I long sometimes to live in the sunset.

I really don't cope very well when this feeling comes upon me so suddenly. It catches me unaware and I can't act quick enough to stop it taking me over. And if I don't catch it in time, or have someone to distract me, then we just repeat ourselves. It sits in my stomach, not allowing me to eat or sleep, and slowly tears apart my sanity, emotion by emotion, until I give in. Sometimes, my life seems to be nothing but an endless circle of bad feelings, mistakes and regrets.

"Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street;
Look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.
Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.
And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy.
Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
And maybe someday we will meet,
And maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause,
There are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go."
'Same Mistake' - James Blunt
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