Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Journey

N.B. Just over a month ago, I posted a number of items that I felt I needed to assess and work at in my life, things that needed prayer and attention. As time moves on, I feel the need to look back and thank God for the many answered prayers.

Being Confident: I was facing the challenge of talking in front of groups of people, something I find particularly hard because I struggle with being 'on show' with people looking at me. But since then, I have done a school assembly, led the story/ children's talk in church, and shared something in an evening service - three very big things for me. Praise God for his faithfulness!

Accepting Myself: I have realised that although human acceptance would be lovely, the only person I need to be accountable to is God. Whether I accept myself as I am is irrelevant, because God does, and if I trust in his amazing love, for me, then I can live as I am supposed.

Adjusting To Changes: Things have settled down. Although they will probably change again, and again, as the future unfolds. But I'm learning to take one hurdle at a time, each day as it comes and goes. Life goes on, you know.

Letting Go: My past is the past. God has forgiven me. Those things in my life that I am not proud of have no power over me because I know I am Christ's. And although there are those awful times of temptation, and the sometimes painful realisation that I have given in to that, each day will start afresh. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

Fear: Still struggling with this one a bit, but God has been faithful, and some things have changed.

Next Year: I have been made an offer. And I am accepting it. I am happy. So God's will it is!

Good Leader: I cannot be responsible for my young people's actions. I can only show them the way, and pray that they will find God for themselves. They will make mistakes, as I will make mistakes, but being a good leader isn't about always getting it right. But learning to deal with the consequences of each action, and learning from the times you got it wrong. I want more than anything to be present to these young people, in the times when they get it right, and in the times when they get it wrong, a loving presence, an accepting presence, unjudging and unreserved. I press on.

Sacrifice Of This Year: I have spent some time with friends. They see in my face how much this 'job' means to me, and they like that. Its probably a welcome relief for my friends, to see me happy at last, cause over the last few years, they probably haven't seen a lot of that. So although they may not all understand the reasons behind why I do what I do, they can see the passion, and the love that I have for it.

Tiredness: God gave us enough hours in the day to do everything that needed to be done. I just needed to prioritise my work a bit more. All is good.

So there you go. All those things that I spent the last month worrying about have been more or less solved or sorted. Isn't God faithful and good? And so the next month is almost ready to begin. And there will be new challenges, and new things on my mind, I have no doubt. But I shall take that as it comes. Because life is a continuous journey, and we must not dwell too much on what is behind us, for that has gone, nor what will come ahead of us, for the challenge is not in path ahead, but in the momentary step.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34
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