Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Gone

Today has been a sad day. I have only just found out that Dennis Kearns, a man whom I looked up to fondly, and cherished, passed away a few weeks ago. No-one told me, and I missed the funeral. I am shocked and upset, and I guess a little unable to adequately describe the scary emptiness that I have begun to felt inside myself.

Dennis was one of those folk who I thought would live forever. His death has reminded me of the harsh reality of the human cycle; that we are born into a world where disease, violence and greed reign, and then we spend our whole lives trying to impact the world in the hope that when we are gone we will not be forgotten - and then we die. And we become a mere memory in the minds of those we leave behind.

I was never a close friend of Dennis'. But his presence, his calm nature and warming smile, always made me feel as though the world could be a better place. No matter how rubbish I was feeling, when I went to church and saw him smiling at me, pleased to see me, it made me feel better. He was someone who was sent by God to be a blessing in my life; a rock; a silent angel whose presence I would never appreciate enough. Until now.

Now, he is gone. And although I did not get a chance to say goodbye, nor to experience his welcome one last time, the world goes on. And I continue to live my life, appreciating the impact that he had on it. And right now, I grieve. Because I am sad that he is not a part of my life anymore, that he will not share in any more of my achievements, that he will not see the person I have become. That I never really got the chance to make him proud of me, and to show him that I made something of my life. And part of that was thanks to him. For his belief in me at all times. For his ability to know when a gentle word was needed. I grieve because I will miss him. And although he may never know the impact that he had on my life, I know. And I rejoice, because I know where he is headed.

Right now, its the dusk. The night has come, and its the time to look back to the things that have happened and watch them as they fade into the darkness. But tomorrow, a new day must begin. A new light shines afresh on the horizon, making the darkness of yesterday fade away into nothing. And although yesterday is gone, it will not be forgotten. It has been written on the heart. It has made an impact on the soul.
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