Sunday 14 September 2008

Refresh

N.B. So the summer is officially over and its back to Southend and back to work! Wahay!

I am very glad to be back home. Its been a very long six weeks. Things are starting back a little different, I'm in a new house, (new in the non-physical meaning of the word...) with a new perspective, and most of all a new attitude and a willingness to stick it out with God for another year. I have definately come back this year feeling a little different to the person I was before. Maybe the time away has made me realise how precious every moment in life is. Maybe I learnt something over the summer after all. Maybe I'm just learning to see things a little differently.

In the first week back, I learnt that openness is sometimes necessary to move forward. I shared some really deep, personal things with some friends of mine, and through their responses, learnt to be more willing to accept others kindness as something other than hostile. I learnt to trust people with things that I refuse to talk about. I learnt that not everyone in the world is out to make you feel insignificant. And that some people care about you just for you, and not for something you have done or something you will do for them.

I guess thats a lot to learn in the first week back at placement. But I am glad that I am learning it. I am glad that I have two extra people with whom I can journey through things with. I am glad that friendships are a two way thing, and that openness begets openness.

Over the summer, I was struggling with a number of issues from the past that God wanted me to go over, to re-experience (so-to-speak) in order to move on from them. Some have been a lot easier to journey through than others. But that is the pathway I am on. I know that being a Christian is not supposed to be an easy life, but that God will travel the highs and the lows with me. And luckily, he has put some people in my life that will also experience that rollercoaster with me. So I am glad, that the first week back was as it was. Because it has challenged me to travel along a road I am not comfortable travelling down. And in that uncomfortableness, I will learn to lean upon God more than ever.

1 comment:

L said...

Ami!

First off, my appologies for disappearing from our convo the other night... I'm rubbish I know

Secondly, that is brilliant to read. I know our circumstances are different but i've felt very similar things. I dont like to share how i feel, especially when im down, but i've learnt how amazing it is when you finally open up and talk and allow our friends (as well as God) to help you and help carry you through.

Miss you loads Ami!
All my love x