Sunday, 9 December 2007


After the most amazing nativity this morning, followed by the church lunch, for some reason I felt a great emptiness inside of me. All my energy had been sucked out and thrown away. I didn't feel Christmassy. I didn't feel relieved that all the stress and worry that comes with helping run a nativity was over. I honestly just felt like crying. After the church was finally cleared and everything packed up, I didn't want to go home. So I just bummed round to Phil's house with his family instead. And I am so glad I did. His family are so great, like how I want my family to be like when I'm older. I felt so welcome, so accepted. And even though I was just about ready to burst into tears, I actually had a real nice time.

I get on well with all his kids, and Reuben (aged 6) is always jumping on me for a cuddle or a piggy-back. Last week he even confessed he wished I was his mum... (I think he meant sister...) Anyways, this evening, whilst watching Doctor Who, he fell asleep on my lap, and it was the most wonderful thing. It sounds pathetic, but that kind of total acceptance by a child gives you the most amazing feeling. It is a feeling totally pure, totally unmarred by age, completely loving. And it made me feel like I was worth the world.

And that's all I'm going to say about that. =]
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